Mar. 31, 2021

Block

I haven't known what to write about. I was focused for a while on writing about things, ways to help/ cope with things that people are going through. I have drafts of comments, positive quotes, and advice. I realized that I don't even believe the things that I wrote in my drafts. The "Its normal" or "Its temporary" bs that I've heard constantly since I have been diagnosed and even before. The purpose of my blog or whatever we want to call it is to show people that they are not alone. Im not trying to cure your depression or anything else. I'm here to share my thoughts and feeling while battling with my inner self.

I realized that I am constantly in denial. I say and even occasionally believe that i'm okay, but i'm not. I am constantly running in a circle without stopping. When i am alone i'm asleep. I know why i sleep so much, its because I do not want to be awake. Recently, I have been feeling lost. I have been feeling as though I am living someone elses life and not mine. I've been doing everything for everyone else. Basic needs to live, waking up, school, getting dressed, showering, eating, etc. I can't even do by myself. And you know what that's okay because i am still here.