Apr. 23, 2021

April 23 2021

Currently, I am outside attempting to catch up on homework. I am listening to music that makes me smile. Last night I had, once again, had another depressive episode. I felt absolutely horrible about myself. I constantly kept telling myself over and over again that I couldn't do it anymore. That I did not want to keep doing the same thing over and over again, waking up to the same feeling of being empty or not loving myself the way I want to. I have been attempting to workout recently, catch up on school, sorta get my life together somewhat. Its so hard to keep trying, I realize its easier to just to give up on yourself. Do not give up. If I can't neither can you. I took a minute to write down a little list of I will, I can,and Im going to, statements. I know that it doesn't sound like much and normally I believe that Its a useless thing to do, but I want to start speaking things into existence. I think that the biggest thing that I want is to see where I started and see how far I have came since then, to be able to say that I finally feel that way that I use to want to feel. This time I am going to give myself achievable goals of what I want my "perfect" self to be like, but just not perfect but to become my best self.